I believe I’ve made it clear that I despise “online game”.
That having been said, it doesn’t mean I don’t dabble in it occasionally. Being a college student, I need to find a bankroll. I’m not currently employed, but have parents who are well-off and therefore I’m not going to abuse my state’s obnoxiously generous unemployment benefits system just so I can get laid off the taxpayers. I’ll save that luxury for feminist freeloaders like Sandra Fluke.
I have a POF profile that I only enable during the bitterest of cold streaks – and have only used for one notch before. That said, my lack of a job, and lack of things to do over winter break away from all the young girls inhabiting my school’s campus, left me little choice but to do what I rarely do: enable my POF profile once again.
While you may think I’d hate online game because 99% of girls online are fat, I dislike it even more due to the fact that I have to read through profiles that are filled with nonsense straight from the rationalization hamster. Sentences, even paragraphs about the different ways in which I’ll be qualified. And, no POF female profile would be complete without the “I’m not looking to be your hookup” lie. I call this a lie because nearly all the girls I’ve talked to with this in their profile have ended up expressing sexual interest, often before even getting my number. Screening out guys looking for “Intimate Encounter” is also a telling lie. In fact, these are such telling lies that I’m beginning to think girls that put this nonsense in their profile are actually more likely to put out than those who don’t. Food for thought.
Anyway, onto the actual story:
It’s a Sunday Night and I’m bored as shit – I take 30-45 minutes out of my night and I mass message the most attractive girls I can find (not many, as you may have guessed, and I’m sure some of them were SIFs). Also, keep in mind that we’re talking about online game here. “Attractive” means 6 out of 10. Eventually I get a response from a girl who we will refer to as ‘Clara’. In her profile, she explicitly mentioned about how she didn’t go for hookups. I decided to put my theory to the test.
Clara was looking for a “tall cutie” and listed herself as 5′ 8″.
I’m taller than her, but not by much at all, so I drop a line about how it’s surprising to see a girl with height requirements, considering I thought the newest big thing was dick requirements. She enjoyed that, and we exchanged a few messages before she wanted my number.
Clara was out of town at the time of our first exchanges over POF – with her family somewhere remote (connected enough to have data on her phone) and she was returning in two days. She seemed clingy, too. For example, if I didn’t respond to a message immediately she’d send me a follow-up smiley face or question mark to get me to answer quicker. It wasn’t 48 hours before she sent me a completely naked picture of herself. Very nice tits, a little thick, but nothing that I wouldn’t hit. Especially considering she was a POF girl. She texted me dirty things nonstop, talking about the things she wanted to do to me when she got back home. When she got home, she wanted to hang out that night, immediately. “I’ll probably blow you”, she said.
We arranged to hook up in my car. I really didn’t give a shit, if you couldn’t already tell, and this was looking to be at least one of those stories to talk about. I mean, here I am. Talking about it.
I picked her up, and to my delight she was one of those rare cases in which she looked better than her worst picture. She really wasn’t that bad at all. Her pictures led me to believe she was a 5. In real life, she was a solid 6. On the way to my secret location to park the car, she talks about how sucking dick is a skill she has “perfected over the years.” I ask her if she’s serious and she says she is. She continued by saying “My friends all think it’s gross, but it’s something I love doing. I’m great at it and it’s a way to express myself.” I remind her that I’m not complaining.
We get to the location and start making out immediately. I grab her tits and suck on them a little. It’s not long at all before she unhooks my belt and has my cock in her mouth. I will say, it was certainly above-average fellatio, but for a girl who claims to have perfected this skill over the year, I was expecting to cum a little quicker. Don’t act like you could represent Team USA in the blowjob competition of the sex olympics and then barely outperform my ex-girlfriend.
But it was acceptable.
I had considered sex and had brought condoms but I came in her mouth already, and didn’t have the stamina to go in the backseat. Plus this was a new spot and I was a little wary of the cops. Let’s just say, if I’m going to be caught banging a girl it needs to be an 8 or better. Maybe a 7 depending on the remoteness of the location. But I wasn’t going to be caught in that sort of situation with this particular girl. I call it a night.
I quickly take her to the Taco Bell drive-thru and order some Doritos Tacos Supreme for myself only, and end up dropping her off back at her house. It was the last time I would ever receive any sort of contact from her again.
I’m a little confused by the fact that she cut me off entirely. I wasn’t obnoxious, we seemed like we connected, I have a good-size dick, and I made her laugh. I’ve never seen a girl so into me and then so, not into me. Except for one particular time that actually made sense.
I theorized that perhaps what I had just dealt with, what had just sucked my dick, was in fact a serial cocksucker. A girl who goes online, finds a guy to blow quickly, enjoys him for an hour, and then leaves him, never to speak a word to him again. Without fully believing it myself, I half-heartedly asked one of my guy friends who is on POF and in the same area if he had any contact with this girl.
It turns out that yes, he had. And not just that, but his experience with her was eerily similar. She had expressed interest, sexted him, then sucked his dick one night and never talked to him again. My mind was blown. There was indeed a serial cocksucker among the locals, and who lived only five minutes from my house. I didn’t know whether to laugh or schedule a herpes screening – but it was a grand revelation, and one that I’m still amazed at.
I do wonder just how many dicks she has sucked in her career as a complete slut.
P.S. Don’t actually listen to that song. It blows.